A quiet day but I have some energy returning and the abscess of life here has burst and a lot of the pus has poured out.I still didn’t venture far afield but I did go to school for pickup which is something I enjoy and then for a visit to RedGum.
Now I am on Facetime with Eden and fundamentally all is well.
My pain is minimal. My mind is not attacking. I still have flexibility and am able to stretch and bend etc and to pick things up.
My breathing is pretty good.
Glory be for the times like these.
I am quiet internally with hopes of an improvement in my living situation. I have had this quite a few times before. A transitory house which did not fit me followed by a breakthrough into the perfect place for me.
From Tugun to Bilambil.
From Detour to Blue Horizons.
Quite a few times. I don’t know what will be next but today I taste the hope.
I need to be where I am happy to get up in the morning and not be surrounded by active addiction and alcoholism. I need to see the sun rise. And maybe water at my door.
I reckon I deserve a couple of good breaks now. And they will come. Something as splendid as North Bondi and Bilambil and Tumbulgum.
Someplace where I can ride the pony with the girls easily. Where I am not afraid and don’t have to struggle to get in and out of. Someplace with Feeling and the kind of beauty that I like.
Someplace with magic and delight. Mystery and comfort.
Each Day a New Beginning
The beauty of the world has two edges, one of laughter, one of anguish, cutting the heart asunder. – Virginia Woolf
Anguish is undoubtedly more familiar to us than is the beauty of laughter. We feel anguish over our failings; we feel anguish over our losses; we feel anguish over the attempts to succeed that beckon to us.
Anguish comes of fear. And we so hope to avoid it. However, it seasons us as women; it enriches us even while it momentarily diminishes us. It is a major contributor to the sum and substance of our lives. The anguish we experience prepares us to help others experience their own particular anguish.
Our laughter, too, must be savored and shared. And laughter builds more laughter. Laughter lends a perspective on our anguish. Life is made richer, fuller, by the ebb and flow, the laughter and the anguish in concert.
If only we could remember, when the anguish is present, that it is making our Spirits whole. That it, along with laughter, is a healer of the soul. That it lifts our load at the same time that it burdens us. That it prepares us to better receive life’s other gifts.
I can help another face anguish. It brings us together. It softens me. And it makes way for the laughter soon to come.