KAYBEE and me, we checked the Golf Club today for the funeral. All the usual family happenings are happening. Could be a big funeral because he was a very well known man. I think he was 3rd generation Bellingen.
Its raining and drizzly today. A bit cool. We are all doing those strange things which are shock and grief but manifest as other behaviours.
I am 2 stages back this time and mostly need to keep my nose out of things except support for my Kids.
I am settled in for the evenings and have become accustomed to being alone like I was before I met Izzy.Lots of spikey edges have been rubbed off me now. After grief and aftershock and illness. A goodly amount of the readjusting has settled in profoundly now. Its not precisely what I want but the new routines and new conditions are kind of now assimilated. I have stopped most of my attempts to regain the Past – most of them.
Physically, I am FAR better. Mentally – calmer and clearer. Emotionally – less temperamental. Spiritually – more grateful and less negative and despairing. Its lovely.
“I still don’t have answers for all the eternal questions, like why bad things happen to good people, or why babies die. But I have found that life works better when I focus more on how I am contributing to God’s world than musing about what he is or is not doing in mine.”
Woodinville, Washington, November 2013