I am smiling tonight. Its been raining some more and the massive old cyclone has trashed a vast area of the north and is still crawling down our way. I went shopping with my girl and tried a meeting but serious wobblies made me call Kaybee to bring me home and now I feel OK.
I have the antibiotics and the constipation medicines. I feel OK after dark but pretty damn wobbly during the day.
Its one week till endoscopy and just over one week until I fly South. This will take some focussing to achieve.
I have had what I call a romantic evening inasmuch as I have allowed the passion and magic and colour of life to flow through me. These computerised times are wonderful to me and reduce the savage isolation to a tiny part of what it would once have been. I can play music including that of my Man. I can speak with People and watch the progress of the Cyclone.
I can beg and praise and post photographs and jokes. I have access to wonderful people.
And then I turn to this place that is not my home and I am OK until I find my next Home. I love having HOME. I love decorating and feeling its edges – but I need exquisite beauty – particularly of the Spirit. Whilst I live with Addiction , grey wraiths torment me and I unpack NOTHING.
My day will come again.
I WILL have hone and joy again.