MY FACE IS ON CROOKED

I know that this is where I am stuck aground.

“Many of us cling to our fears, doubts, self-loathing, or hatred because there is a certain distorted security in familiar pain. It seems safer to embrace what we know than to let go of it for the unknown.”
Basic Text, p.33

Another day in bed. Once again, not depressed but ever so weary. I walk between worlds.

At the moment I am weak again. Makes it hard. So I just relax tonight and wait.

ITS POPPY’S BIRTHDAY TONIGHT – 1000 kms away. She is home in Towamba. With her new iphone 6 and all our love.

Another reason I believe its the sepsis that has played the major role in how I am post coma. Once again this is an extract from SIMPLY SEPSIS on FACEBOOK. These are private comments so I only post enough for you to get my meaning. I have found the same bond I found when I came to NA and AA.

_______________________

Linda United Kingdom

For a while now I’ve noticed that I’m stumbling with words and sentences.

I know what I want to say in my head but when I open my mouth it doesn’t come out that way. I start a sentence and then forget what I was saying mid-way through. I get people’s names mixed up all the time. I forget what I’ve told people and repeat myself. I struggle to put words together in conversation and dry up after a couple of words.

People have started to notice now, so I feel as I’ve been forced to admit it to close family.

Before sepsis I had a job that involved me communicating with a wide range of people from chief executives to young children. In a meeting I would engage with others and not be afraid to speak out. Now I struggle to tell my son his tea is ready.

I’m sure there’s a lot of you with the same challenges. Thanks in advance.

Each Day a New Beginning
June 15

For many years I was so flexible I didn’t know who I was, and now that I’m discovering who I am, I think, “OK, I know where I stand on that issue. Now on to the next one.” But I have to remind myself that all issues are interrelated–no one is separate.
—Kathleen Casey Theisen

Today flows from yesterday, the day before, the day before that. Tomorrow repeats the pattern. What we are given on any one day will have its beginning in the past and its finale in the future. No incident is isolated entirely; no issue is self-contained.

Maturity is being able to let go of outgrown attitudes, stifling opinions, no matter how good and right they were at one time. Our egos often get too attached to some of our opinions, and new ideas can’t filter in. Some will try to get our attention today. We are ready for new growth. The choice not to hamper it is ours to make.

The opinions we held certain yesterday may not be adequate to the problems of today. They need not be. They served us well. They are not for naught.

Today’s issues need today’s fresh responses. I will be unafraid. Today flows from yesterday, the day before, and the day before that. Tomorrow follows suit.

Well. If I measure progress – it is OK. I have gone from the Alfa which broke down to the pony and now to the Astra and I feel fine driving. That is a big improvement.

I have gone away on holidays and flown on planes.

So – this was another bedridden day.

IT DOES NOT MATTER.

Tomorrow will flow into something else.

 

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