The way to love anything is to realize it might be lost.
—G.K. Chesterton

And a day at home. Its like living in a cave for me – down here in the Den. One day, I might make sense of it – not today. Physically I have improved a great deal.

As for the rest – makes no sense to me. Noone seems to need me. Nothing seems to need me actually.

I live every day with this guillotine of Hep C terrorism hanging above my head and now I am living financially tough as well.


so I continue with


Its such a spit burger phase of my life. At least my head is clear tonight and I have eaten well. As for the rest – IT SUX.

Bits of me are dead. Or  , as Iz said about his Brain Injured Clients – parts of me have gone ahead. They have crossed over and they can’t come back. And me – I am under renovation. Bits are better. Bits are Worse. Bits are missing and bits have been replaced.

makes no sense to me

Amma Theodora (Fourth Century)

“Let us strive to enter by the narrow gate. Just as the trees, if they have not stood before the winter’s storms, cannot bear fruit, so it is with us; this present age is a storm and it is only through many trials and temptations that we can obtain an inheritance in the kingdom of God.’”



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