the rain keeps falling

storm at raleigh in 2013

Geez.  A Random life this is. Asleep ALL day once more. So weak I could only get drag myself upright a couple of times. A bit better now but this ain’t funny.I am glad I have the Simply Sepsis site because the medicos tend to make me feel loopy and totally underestimate what I am telling them.

Its raining and keeping raining.

One of our family in Sydney was taken away from their home by ambulance today after a hip replacement dislocated. It took hoists and fire crews and they had to lift him from the balcony.

Something tough is forming within me. Still no visits so I guess I might as well live any old place. I shall widen my horizons.

If only my body would come along on the adventures my mind creates for us.

Well – my sister has left and Izzy has left and I live in a twilight world. The other day I caught a glimpse of my Mum. That has rarely if ever happened since she went in 2001. And one night last week I could sense Iz near me. Once again – its not what has happened to me much.

These long days alone in the Den are honing something in me. Fuck the World and being bullied by a system I have never embraced. That includes the medicos. And landlords. CENTRAL RAILWAY STATION IN SYDNEY


What have you personally learned from the ammas?

First, I have learned to experiment. When these women decided to leave their lives — some of them were learned, some were fairly wealthy, some were prostitutes — they made a choice to try to create something new with one another and with God. There were a variety of models. Some were solitaries. Some were living in community. Some were solitaries who lived in huts, yet came together regularly for worship and meals. Initially, there was no single monolithic pattern. At midlife, I know that many women are trying to find patterns for living that are congruent with their experience and their faith. And sometimes we need examples from women’s history to help us find what fits.

Second, the ammas have taught me to set aside time for quiet. There are so many pressures that lead us to be fragmented. The tradition does not deny the pressures. The ammas tells us that God is present even in those daily struggles. I can remember that more readily if I have taken time for quiet.

Third, the ammas take me back to basics. We live in a time in which so much polarization has happened in both the national political arena, and within the church. The ammas invite us to look beyond all the divisive fussing — not to deny it, but to see it as surface reality. They invite us to gaze more deeply, especially in the most tensive of circumstances.

And lastly, the ammas tell me that from the beginnings of the life of the Church, women have been initiators of new patterns and teachings, opening the way for knowing the wholeness that God offers in Christ. When I am reading the stories and sayings of the desert ammas, I am struck by their utter confidence that no matter what, this world belongs to God, is loved by God, and that each person, each creature, each aspect of the created order, is an expression (some would say a theophany, a showing) of God’s love.

This Q&A was graciously provided to by Morehouse Publishing.

Nellibell : In a kind of Biblical comparative sort of mood – I get a Sodom and Gomorrah , Tower of Babel trepidation from time to time these days.

Kat : I get it . . We are living in the Us and Them. . times… Some people are living in the $$$$$s and dicks camp… others are living in the land of deeper feelings… and then you have the zombie wasteland in between….




I’m almost 7 months post sepsis. Initially I lost weight. It settled to normal. But I’m noticing lots of water weight. Makes me more sluggish and makes the joint and nerve pain worse. Especially legs and arms. Did anyone experience this. And what did you do to help it ?

Thank you for accepting me. I was in the hospital last month with sepsis and tia for 5 days. The doctors still don’t know how I got the infection. I struggle with the breathlessness and dizziness everytime get up and try to do anything. I’m 44, I feel like I’m 90.

I’m in the middle of making cookies (the second batch is in the oven right now), but when the first batch was baking, I swear I just forgot about them! My brain just forgot they were in there and I didn’t set a timer so they’re overdone and don’t taste very good. Luckily I have small cookie sheets so not many were wasted. This is the first time this has happened!!! I bake every week lately…and as I’m typing this I just realized I didn’t set a timer for the second batch. Why is this happening now?! Thanks for reading my rant.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s