I went out today. I went to Morning Meeting and then to lunch with a group of women.We talked for hours. Sane and deep talk with people in recovery.
The day was rainy and in the end , the power outage I had freaked out about , did not go ahead.
Lise is not here so my car is in the driveway. I have reached a stage in recovery where I am becoming content with my daily life and would like to do as I have done for many years – MAKE HOME HOME. I will not do that here where rent is out of my hands and power and internet and where my space is not treated as sacred. But If I feel this level of contentment in a situation like this, then I think it will improve even more away from the illness of addiction. It has always done so before.
As for me, I passed the day in the kind of company I require and am accustomed to. MY People in Recovery. Deep people. Intelligent People. It has done me the world of good.
The rain is perfect: steady, sometimes strong, but constant, throughout several days and evenings. I turn off music — any music — in order to listen to the gentle patter of rain, especially at night. The ancient symbol for purification is still fresh, perennial, despite the layers of cultural diversions. The rain pours on the trees, birds, flowers, the man-made objects. One day, caught in the rain while insisting on finishing a garden trim, I want to bolt into the indoors, but, already soaked, I linger, and let the rain wash through me. …