Category Archives: family


a child

fingers on a piano

old woman

hands on a wheel

the web spins itself

Well. I did it ! I picked Saffron up and took her to school and later I went to her piano recital  and brought her home. I am VERY happy. This is another of those things which I thought I might never be able to do again. I have also done half a year without being hospitalised. I was able to walk up with her all the way to her classroom. Good stuff, eh?

Kaybee looked rested with not having to go out at all today. And the Saf and I went to the Prov and had potato scallops.  It was a happy time for me.

I also have a curry brought to me by Janine Howe who fixed my computer. She brought 2 fruit crumbles as well. Delicious.


My mind is peaceful and I feel less harassed despite planning going on in my head.



The hermit is an important figure at the outset of the hero’s journey, represented in folklore and mythology as the wise encouraging guide, the dispenser of protection, counsel, and well-being. The hermit may be presented as the solitary wise one dwelling in a forest or cave, that is, the source of strength in the receded consciousness that represents stability and a reservoir of compassion and wisdom, stern but reassuring. Thus, as the adventure begins,

Whether dream or myth, in these adventures there is an atmosphere of irresistible fascination about the figure that appears suddenly as a guide, marking a new period, a new stage, in the biography. …
The first encounter of the hero-journey is with a protective figure (often a little old crone or old man) who provides the adventurer with amulets against the dragon forces he is about to pass …

The crone or fairy godmother in European fairy tales, the Virgin in Christianity, the African Mother of the Gods, the Native American Spider Woman, the Eastern Cosmic Mother, Dante’s Beatrice, Goethe’s Gretchen -— all manifest supernatural guidance, especially representative of the peace of Paradise and the cosmic womb. Masculine figures of aid and guidance are usually “some little fellow of the wood, some wizard, hermit, shepherd, or smith.” In higher mythologies, the masculine guide is the teacher, and especially the ferryman, such as Hermes or Thoth. [An accessible example, not mentioned by Campbell, is the character of the ferryman in Hesse’s novel Siddhartha.]


” Everything exists, everything is true, and the earth is only a little dust under our feet.”


A right brain fog day. It cleared late in the day and I did a few things. I paid more of my lay by. I shopped at the IGA and bought fresh meat and vegies to actually cook.

When I came home, Kaybee called under Saf’s instruction to ask me to come visit and I did.

But now I’m home. In this week leading to the anniversary of his death and I feel like vomiting. I feel wretched. That path I relocated yesterday is the only one that will bring me through this period. Passionate love is not always gentle. I am tormented. I writhe and twist and collapse into weeping.

I don’t see why I only got 7 years of Iz and the rest of my adulthood is a long and lonely path.  He was good for me and now I remain lost. Lost and unequipped .

I wanted more time with him.

I wanted a loving life.

The only ones who ever miss me now are the Little Ones.


But, as Campbell puts it:

Not all who hesitate are lost. The psyche has many secrets in reserve. And these are not disclosed unless required. So it is that sometimes the predicament following obstinate refusal of the call proves to be the occasion of a providential revelation of some unsuspected principle of release.

And here, precisely, will be found the historical hermits, though Campbell footnotes Otto Rank’s preferred figure of the productive artist as this model. Artist or hermit-poet, hermit-meditator, etc., the figure now transcends even the run-a-day social figure and becomes a new category of hero. Campbell elaborates on the mental process.

Willed introversion, in fact, is one of the classic implements of creative genius and can be employed as a deliberate device. It drives the psychic energies into depth and activates the lost continent of unconscious infantile and archetypal images. The result, of course, may be a disintegration of consciousness more or less complete (neurosis, psychosis: the plight of the spellbound Daphne); but on the other hand, if the personality is able to absorb and integrate the new forces, there will be experienced an almost super-human degree of self-consciousness and masterful control. This is a basic principle of Indian disciplines of yoga. It has been the way, also, of many creative spirits in the West. It cannot be described, quite, as an answer to any specific call. Rather, it is a deliberate, terrific refusal to respond to anything but the deepest, highest, richest answer to the as yet unknown demand of some waiting void within: a kind of total strike, or rejection of the offered terms of life, as a result of which some power of transformation carries the problem to a plane of new magnitudes, where it is suddenly and finally resolved.




The best things in life aren’t things.

Whatever is done is over. It cannot be changed. But my attitude about it can be changed through talking with those who have gone before and with sponsors. I can wish the past never was, but if I change my actions in regard to what I have done, my attitude will change. I won’t have to wish the past away. I can change my feelings and attitudes

Even closer to normal today. Feels so good. No pain. Some energy. And the MIND clear again . I am a creature of the MIND. I love it when its working well.

I visited the Kids and it was relaxed and tonight we celebrate Poppy’s 13th birthday from 1000kms away. I got it right and Mad O’Brien got it even more right.

Now – Chuck Norris and fiddlin around.

When the Answer Is Peace | Blog

Answers to my personal prayers have always come in many forms. Sometimes it’s calming music in the right moment, a scripture that speaks to my heart, or a prompting to reach out and serve. At times, something finally comes together that I thought never would. But when I am struggling the most, it’s sometimes a different answer. And I’m often reluctant to recognize and be grateful for that answer. It’s an answer that is hard to “listen” to because it doesn’t always feel like an answer. It is when the answer is peace.

Source: When the Answer Is Peace | Blog


mad nana

THE girl has gone home till Friday. I don’t know what plans I have. Doc tomorrow and a Pickup on Thursday for the Merimbula Meeting. Maybe Merimbula on Tuesday Night or Eden on Wednesday.

For now. Still sleeping a lot but much happier with loved ones around and not strangers over my head.

Now that I have been in both places, I am more ready to make a choice about where I live next. I may well base it on Meetings.


Not feeling so good. I booked in at the Doc next door and liked him very much. He took blood and gave me meds. I go back on Tuesday.

I also went shopping with the family and then down to the Snug Cove which I love.

I might be overtired and I might be weak and breathing rough – but I am with my loved ones and I am happy.  Home cooking. Lifts all around. Just plain happy.

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