Category Archives: LYON’S DEN


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I heard rain throughout the night and when I woke thought that perhaps the bridge between town and us on the Northside might be underwater – and it was. I have been flood monitoring most of the day and posting on my Facebook Pages. We also did one visit to the Bridge and one the the Kids’ place so it has been quite a pleasant day. Facetime with Eden now – and then bed.

ITS STILL RAINING and we will see what its like in the morning. For me, its the safest place I have lived in for years as regards floods.



The rains came. They have kept us almost all day. There has been some flash flooding but not here.

I have booked 2 flights to get me to Eden on April 10. I don’t find these things easily. I don’t know that I ever did but certainly not now. I left only one hour between flights which is pretty crazy. It does turn out that I have left a bag of clothes in Eden so I shall travel with just one small carry on bag.

I am to have endoscopy on the preceding Friday. This is another ” FRAUGHT” expedition. I miss Izzy’s companionship and travelling a la duo – but I CAN DO THIS.  I can do this.

Step by step.

Sometimes, when I am alone for long periods, my mind journeys about all over the place. Just then, I was wondering how I looked to the Police in the Forest with Izzy. I think I showed no emotions. I didn’t bend and kiss him or even touch him.I did think – at this point , one could go mad, quite mad  – but I don’t think that showed.

I just said – ” that’s him “. With detectives and police everywhere.

And with the wet weather here, my mind has been considering the many floods we were in. He was most unused to them and he was funny as. It was nice having companionship during floods as well and not being alone to dig trenches and make decisions.


You can’t change reality, but you can change your attitude towards it.


I still don’t actually like living here and I am casting visions of what I would like and accepting this as a waiting time.






“Called the Never-Never, the Maluka loved to say, because they who have lived in it and loved it, Never-Never voluntarily leave it… Others, the unfitted, will tell you that it is so called because they who succeed in getting out or it swear they will Never-Never return to it. But we who have lived it, and loved it, and left it, know that our hearts can Never-Never rest away from it.”

JEANNIE AENEAS, GUNN – We of the Never-Never


Time for Joy – Book – Quote

Today I continue to let go of all thoughts that continue to pull me out of the present and bringing me to the past and the future. I am becoming more and more open to letting the power of good and love enter my life.


I have been getting the antibiotics into me. I haven’t gone to Doc or Hospital. I am tired and vague but not too bad actually. The Girls did my shopping and I just rested all day long. My leg is still red but I think its shrinking – the red area that is.

The Girls brought those moments of Joy that have kept me going all along – since , well I was going to say since Izzy’s death – but Children have been my source of joy for many years.

MY brother and his partner are visiting Eden and my Girl is settling down after her Pop’s death. And I am OK despite the cellulitis and nose bleeds.

Bed for me soon. Eden is on Facetime now. A little time with them and then bed for me.


BY Cynthia 

Dear God
Thank you for giving this group .
A outlet for us to dump our bitterness at our situations.
A place for hope and support.
Somewhere for us to turn who completely understand and helps keep us from feeling so alone. Continue to give us the knowledge each one of look for when we meet here and the support of knowing this is 1 place we are not alone.
Thank you for this place for some of us who have no support system, no family and long gone and to sick to make new ones.
Please help us wake in the am with a sense of peace and don’t well being.
And mostly thank you God for giving us life and each other.


Daily Reflections
March 10

” … we invariably find that at some time in the past we have made decisions based on self, which later placed us in a position to be hurt.”

With the realization and acceptance that I had played a part in the way my life had turned out came a dramatic change in my outlook. It was at this point that the A.A. program began to work for me. In the past, I had always blamed others, either God or other people, for my circumstances. I never felt that I had a choice in altering my life. My decisions had been based on fear, pride, or ego. As a result, those decisions led me down a path of self-destruction. Today I try to allow my God to guide me on the road to sanity. I am responsible for my action—or inaction—whatever the consequences may be.


Walk in Dry Places
March 10
Ousting the Green Demon
Victory over Jealousy.

We hear of successful people who drop their old friends after moving up the ladder. Maybe, however, it wasn’t their choice. Maybe they were driven to do so because their friend’s jealousy made the friendship unworkable. We have little trouble accepting a stranger’s good fortune; it’s a different feeling, however, when friends and coworkers move ahead of us.

If the green demon of jealousy strikes during the day, we can come to terms with it in several ways. First, accept no guilt that it happens, because jealousy is part of the human condition. Next, depersonalize it by remembering that good fortune comes to all people in various ways. Then check your own gratitude level to make sure that it hasn’t been sinking. This serves as a reminder that there’s no shortage of the things that really make for happiness and personal well-being in life.

We can easily tell when we’ve been able to oust the green demon. We’ll be able to be relaxed and gracious while extending congratulations for another person’s good fortune. And months down the road, we’ll be genuinely sympathetic … Not vindictive … if the other person’s luck turns sour.

While I don’t expect to feel jealousy today, I accept the fact that it can happen. Should it appear, I’ll work calmly to deal with it.



Home again while my girl and her family are busy preparing for the funeral.

This is what the local paper says :

Gordon Braithwaite passed away: There will be many words written and said about Mr Braithwaite during the next few weeks … he was a giant of a man in terms of the legacy he leaves in the Valley.

Gordon Braithwaite passed away on March 2, 2017 at the Bellingen Hospital. He was 86-years-old. Mr Braithwaite spent more than 32 years as a councillor and 14-and-a-half years as either Mayor or Shire President, he is the longest serving councillor in the history of Bellingen Shire. The former logging contractor was first elected in 1971.

In an interview with the Bellingen Shire Courier-Sun in 2012 he said: “I have enjoyed my time as a councillor, but I’m now in my eighties and feel it’s time to make way for someone younger”.

He said that among his other achievements as Shire President or Mayor were three new libraries across the shire, two surf club houses, four senior citizen centres, sewerage extensions in Urunga, water supply to Repton and Mylestom, purchase of property for the Valley Rose estate in Bellingen, establishing the Connell Park sporting fields, funding for Bellingen and Dorrigo swimming pools and assisted with the establishment of the Nursing Home in Bellingen.

The list goes on …

“Whilst in the top job, I arranged finance through cash and loans for a new high level concrete bridge between north and south Bellingen,” he said.

“The new council at the time voted not to proceed with high level bridge to go for a lower, cheaper option.”

Gordon Braithwaite has made a huge contribution to growth and development of Bellingen Shire.


Gordon Braithwaite, not a large man physically, but in terms of what he achieved in his life, an absolute giant. Gordon was born and lived his entire life in Bellingen.He will leave a huge footprint. I can not recall anyone who could exceed his sheer physical output. By any ones estimation, an incredible worker, but also could put his hand to many other things. A sharp mind and an incredible memory. His brain an encyclopaedia, he never forgot a thing. Coming from a humble background like many of his day, he easily adapted to change. Axe and crosscut saw,over to the chainsaw, one of the first in our district, and later quickly adapted to the computer age. Still can recall the laughs from all those jokes via emails, all totally clean of course.

His name was floated about, but my first connection with Gordon was late 50s when he was share farming on Harold Raymond’s farm at Marx Hill, a weaner pig for 10 shillings. Gordon must have been in his 20s, I was just starting to grow hair on my chest. These were lean years.

Gordon’s career was about to evolve, the caterpillar tractor with a blade, and the stihl chain saw was about to revolutionise the timber industry. Suddenly, no tree too big and no mountain too steep, with that tractor and blade, if you could dig it, you could get there and get it. Gordon jumped onboard and this was the beginning of his long career in the bush. Everyone in the early 60s talked about Gordon with his chainsaw and Ian Younger with Huey Waugh’s D7. Into those huge trees where no one had ever before ventured. Stony Gully and Buffer Creek was where the big ones grew – a two log load was common, anything more than five was a no go.

I worked with Gordon and Ian (Bongo) Younger for several years as a (blue tonguer) offsider, hooking up via that 30ml, 300ft steel rope. I clearly remember at Stony Gully one Monday morning after a game of football on Sunday. I was a bit bruised and sore. Gordon quickly picked up on this, and said young fella, if you want to keep this job, better give the football away. That was Gordon 100 per cent always, no room for error.

Gordon’s next move was to branch out on his own and purchased a tractor, I think a D4 which Allan Scott drove for some time. Then there were log trucks and more dozers and he became quite a large contractor in the industry for a considerable period. But even this wasn’t enough for this man, who still had energy to spare, so he put up his hand and ran for council. Mayor for many years. These were the days when the mayor was the boss cocky.

For years, up at 2 or 3am, out to the bush, back home at 1pm, a clean up and down to the Council Chambers to fulfil his duties there. All this on top of his civic duties, he had a finger in every pie in the Shire.

He was a remarkable man. Just to of come out unscathed from working most of his life within the most dangerous of occupations is proof of his skills and mental sharpness.

However, more often than not, standing in the shadows, for every great man stands an even greater woman. Doreen, always there to keep the billy boiling.

As we say our farewell to our old comrade, let’s not forget all those that worked in the industry in those early days who can’t be here to-day.

Darcey Browning

Gordon Braithwaite was a staunch supporter of Urunga SLSC and it saddens the hearts of members to hear of his passing. Gordon and Doreen attended the 70th Anniversary Dinner on last year (November 19) in what was his last official engagement as Club Patron. Gordon was a Patron of the Club for more than 40 years. In 1987 Gordon, who was Shire President, was the driving force behind the Clubhouse as it stands today. On April 5, 1987 at the Official Opening of the new clubhouse Gordon stated in his Opening Address: “This new surf club facility is undoubtedly one of the best and most attractive buildings on the coast if not in New South Wales, Australia and must be the envy of many surf clubs. I pay tribute to the architect, Mr Steve Gorrell and in particular Council’s Health and Building Department staff who costed, supervised construction and organised all sub-trades as well as designing the observation room. I also pay tribute to the subcontractors involved in construction of this building, their fine workmanship has resulted in construction of this truly magnificent structure.”

Gordon also went on to acclaim our Life Savers: “Life Savers perform a very important service, that is of cause, saving lives, it is therefore important that a Life Saver is trained to perfection, and this perfection can only be achieved when there is a properly equipped facility in which to undertake the necessary training.”

Gordon’s involvement in Urunga SLSC has been one of a very supportive community member. He has only missed one AGM during the last 30 years that I can recall and that was due to an illness in the family. Gordon was never short of a few words to say and always addressed our AGM with stories of events and happenings of years gone by. These tales would often bring a wry smile to the members in attendance. Gordon and Doreen always attended the Annual Presentation and were in attendance in 2012 at the President’s Dinner to celebrate the 25th Anniversary of the Clubhouse’s opening.

Gordon’s achievements throughout the Shire have been varied and substantial. To Urunga SLSC, Gordon epitomises all that is good and will be sadly missed.

Lawrie Renshall


Gordon Braithwaite’s funeral is on Thursday, March 9 at 10.30am at St Margaret’s Anglican Church followed by a wake at the Bellingen Golf Club at noon.


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Another full day at home but quite content. I was speaking to Arkue by phone and saying that I miss the birds and that none come in close to me here when 2 ducks came flying across and sat on the roof and later in the day a king parrot landed. My Girls came visiting later in the day and that was a treat.

One more quiet day. Head still quite clear . Fatigue  ruling. Mood- quite content.


EVENING IS here. Lise is home from the bush and its dark out there. Gordon is still in palliative care and RB is up visiting.

MY GIRLS were laughing today and happy. More relaxed and my heart is then delighted.



Walk In Dry Places

Unexpected Disappointments____Acceptance.
As life unfolds, we sometimes get unexpected disappointments that seem undeserved — the car breaks down, a business deal goes sour, or a close friend betrays us. As alcoholics, most of us don’t handle such things too well.  “Why me, Lord?” we often respond.
Our best approach is simply to view life as a mixture of bitter and sweet, knowing that we’ve been given real mastery over conditions. We cannot always be sure that a disappointment really is as bad as it seems to be, and sometimes it can become a step toward our good.  As one alcoholic phrased it, “some of the worst things that have happened turned out to be the best.”
It’s good to face the day with optimism, with confidence, and even with some excitement about the opportunities ahead. If we’re maintaining sober thinking, everything that happens today will be transformed into gains for tomorrow – all our tomorrows. We’re on a spiritual journey that goes far beyond anything we’re doing here and now.
I won’t expect to be disappointed today, but I’ll know that nothing can really upset or disturb me without my permission.


Another bed ridden day. I was quite happy but it does worry me a little. I missed a lift to Urunga NA and shops with Kaybee but – I rested. I am beginning to go with the flow of the condition I am in. THE GIRLS bought my dinner including a Weiss Bar. I did take a walk to the bottom of the Yard and saw the ducks. I am a little more muddleheaded than I have been but its not as bad as it has been over the last couple of years. Its just that I have some business to attend to and its mixing up in my head.

Sad though I am at the many losses such as my Alfa Romeo and the kayak and much more, I am beginning to feel the ease I had in Bilambil. A load of a size that I can handle. There is more to go as yet. Little bit at a time.

I am planning a trip to Eden in April if they are not coming this way.

Guess this day is winding down. The Kids’ grandfather is in palliative care and their father is up here visiting. Best let Jaybee know, I guess.



Hello, I usually just read and sometimes might comment on some posts. Tonight, I wanted to share my victory. Early this morning I was able to walk around the outside of my house without help. I have been so overjoyed today being able to do that. It has been going on 8 months now since Sepsis done a number on me. I am steady trying to find the new normal me. Walking without help is such a huge victory. I was in so much pain and trembling later that I laid down but I was victorious, I did it. I have to learn how to control not being able to sleep at night, bad dreams when I do, aches and pains most of the time, somewhat confusion, slight hearing problems and my skin itches all the time. When I read other posts I am encouraged that I can do this. I know I will always be on oxygen, but that is small stuff. I am on a roll. I just wanted to share this and thank you all.


and another


No its not always about sepsis. But you have had a trauma.
Imagine being in a terrorist attack, or horrific car accident , friends would probably be a little more understanding about the difficulties you face daily, and if you told them you had flashbacks or nightmares.
But not so with Sepsis.
If you look at what we remember happening to us in Icu, some of that is like a former of torture, and that is without the hallucinations and trying to remember what’s really or not. And all this was to help us survive, but it’s left a legacy lurking deep inside us, that even if we are coping well on a daily basis, and getting on with life, it’s still there, and will randomly pop up for whatever reason, if that makes sense?
Even writing these feelings about the whole icu experience now, I can feel the tight chest, tearful feeling lurking, like a frustration to try make others understand.