No guest throughout the year,
the gate remains closed.
No-minded all day,
Greetings my Friends. It seems I missed yesterday. Missed it almost entirely. I went to sleep on the 21st and woke up today. I was aware of a few things but only a few and I didn’t care at all. I don’t know whether the combo of Izzy’s anniversary and finding a new place to live in did me in or not. It usually takes a platelet drop and bleed for me to pass out so fully for so long. I was horizontal most of the day as well but am now able to sit up and walk around and my head is clearing quite a lot so I shall be able to attend to business. I have some shivering and a slight temp so I am watching things.
I now find it intolerable here as I once did in Tugun. I am not 100 % sure about the next one but will trust that there is something at work in this decision. I shall reduce my possessions even further and make myself more portable. Then I can come and go at will – something I had established before Izzy and I built our lives together. I shall also need a laptop or tablet.
I did go out for a little while late this afternoon. Just to the corner to see the clouds and back. When I got to the corner there was a very beautiful grey haired woman there and she took time to speak with me – elder wisdom it was and filled me with peace and joy. We spoke of things I long to speak of. And stopped to look at the clouds. Then she walked along.
The Wise Cloud Woman.
and walked away
we had seen the clouds at sunset
I feel sadness come over me now and I know that the official medical world would call it “depression” so I ain’t going near them. I am sad because of several things and a few meetings and some action will ease it. As well as recovery from the physical dimension of whatever it was.
Maybe tomorrow I shall take a drive and do a meeting.
Maybe tomorrow, I shall apply for rental bond assistance and contact the real estate agent.
Maybe tomorrow – my mind will be clear and my body strong.
Now I drink my ginger tea and prepare for bed.
Trying to image my next dwelling. My concerns about it are :
- the walk down the side to my place.
- people living above me
- a little girl and a steiner alternate type mum
- no easy walks
What looks good is :
- the actual space
- closeness to the girls
- being away from my landlady
- being away from drunks and anger and gossip and violence
- views of a kind and space to see the sky
I guess, like Tugun was, that its more of a getting away from rather than a going to. Like the end of using in some ways. I don’t know where I’m going to but I sure know what I’m going from.
And to finish this day off – there are people out there more suited to who I now am. I can see their faces and have briefly overlapped with some. These are the people I invite into my life now. A touch of class.
Well – isn’t that a nice awareness. The Dots of Ebor Water and the Wise Women of the Clouds. And I know there are many more. Like my new therapist. Well- another breakthrough – a touch of Bilambil Class, my dear Douglas. A touch of class.
To display at last
Maturity of spirit
Sleep, perchance to dream
According to some scientists, the brain works as much in sleep as in waking, busy problem-solving and prioritizing what should go into memory. This is why the “sleep on it” advice for decision-making works — or is it? Clarity and insight may develop in sleep precisely because there is no work, no doing of mathematical-logical processing at all. Instead, the mind in sleep registers impressions and sorts feelings. What it resolves for waking is based on the innate sense of consciousness we possess simply as human beings. Our busy modern culture wants to work out its contrived problems “24/7.” But insight and wisdom come from “not-doing” or wu-wei. For this reason eastern sages have always seen the absence of dreams as confirmation of not-doing, as a high point of progress towards enlightenment.